Love

What's love got to do with it? Well, everything. Love. Is. Everything.

We need it. We crave it. We write sonnets about it. We will seek it out and hunt it down like a lion tracks its prey. When it is new, it's exhilarating. It's a rush like no other. It's the first sunny day after a long cold winter that causes you to inhale deeply, exhale slowly, and savor every moment while hoping there will be more days just like it. When love is familiar, it can be as comfortable as the favorite sweatshirt you pull out on game day while nestling on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. When love is old, it is like an anchor; a weight so heavy that it will drag you to the darkest crevices in your mind and soul. When love is taken away, it can be devastating and leave a person desperately searching for comfort; often in the most inappropriate fashion. When love dies, it is a slow and painful process that leaves scars that will last a lifetime. Often words are exchanged that have much meaning but their only true intent is to inflict damage to the other person's soul. The damage is typically effective as, after all, love used to be a robust feature in the relationship and oftentimes people will lash out while love is dying in a feeble attempt to exert any type of control over anything.

Love is everything.

Love between two people is a high risk gamble. It's putting yourself out there in the hopes that they will in turn love you for who and what you are. It's a dance that resembles a peep show in the way we alluringly show our best traits and keep our worst covered while we work our seductive magic. Love between two people is not a net that is thrown over the other person's head, scooping them up, tossing them over your shoulder, and dragging them into your life. Love is a gift that is offered to another person in hopes that they will accept the gift and continue to view you with love and adoration for all of time. It should be a promise between two people that they choose each other over all others and will do their best to continue to choose each other over time. Love is a willing contract where two people that were formerly on different paths make the choice to walk the same path in life; be it briefly or long-term. The reality is that love should be cherished, nurtured, treasured, and adored for as long as it exists. It should be fought for. Fiercely. It should be protected and valued as it is a precious gift that may not be eternal or even long-term.

Love is everything.

Self-love is vastly different and arguably more important than any other love. Loving oneself is a liberating feeling that can last a lifetime. Self-love is knowing you are not perfect and understanding that no one expects perfection. Self-love is often the love we seek least and/or last. We tend to be wrapped up in how others see us and accept us that we forget to be mindful of how we see and accept ourselves. We discount our own opinions and feelings and surrender them to another person's opinion. If someone speaks unkindly to us we tend to let that one person's lapse in sanity label us and we will give that voice far greater volume that then countless other voices that have complimented us and praised us over the years. If the love we offered or shared with another is denied or no longer present, we will allow ourselves to become shattered shells of the person we once were, sadly forgetting the value that we continue to have.

Finding self-love should be our primary goal--long before our first kiss, first date, or first love. Accepting ourselves as God made us--imperfections, strengths, weaknesses, faults, mistakes, doubts, intelligence, character, physical being, integrity, ethics, values, and more should all be embraced and accepted. Certainly we should feel welcomed to tweak, grow, and alter where we deem appropriate but, overall, finding a love for ourselves "as is" should be a primary focus for each of us from an early age. Even if you're not at that early age, you should still seek out self-love like a fish seeks water or a human seeks air. It is imperative to our survival. If you're unsure how to find value in yourself, embark on the course to learn to find value. Seek professional help, read books, listen to developmental audio, consult your friends that love you as you are and see yourself the way they see you. Take the time and make the effort to create self-love. You are worth it.

Love is everything.