What do you think of when you read the word "strength"? Muscles? Physical condition? Perseverance? Mental muscle? Typically, I think of a muscular physique when I think of strength. That is, I thought of muscles until the last few years of my life.
Physical strength is something you can improve, increase, and control somewhat. Physical activity, gyms, strength training, P90X, and ChaLEAN Extreme are all ways to increase muscle and strength. I've spent many years working on my physicality. I've spent countless hours in the gym, in front of my TV with a DVD cranking, I've invested in weights, pull up bars, push up stands, drinks and pills that increase muscle growth, and educated myself as to how a body works and what makes it grow, tone, and define. I've modified my nutrition to be knowledgeable about what "good" and "bad" things are and try to choose wisely. I signed up as a distributor (consultant) first for AdvoCare and then later as a coach (consultant) for BeachBody. I've helped countless people on their journey for physical conditioning.
You can photograph muscular strength. Time stamp its growth. Document its presence (and its absence). You can push yourself physically to the point of collapse, exhaustion, and shut down. Many people are aware and cognitive of their limitations while many more have never pushed themselves to discover what they are truly capable of. The human body is an amazing thing and its brilliance is what I refer to as a "God thing." Muscle recovery, broken bones healing, conception and subsequent birth of a child, recovery from serious illnesses, the intricacies of internal organs, and so much more are astonishing to me. Many people underestimate their physical strength and determine they are unable to do something without an attempt at accomplishing the feat. Programs like P90X and other BeachBody programs give a person a chance to test their physical strength in the comfort of their own home. People that embark on this journey and are able to see it through to its finish marvel at their previously unexamined strength. It is an awesome moment when you pick up a weight that you used to struggle with and yet can now lift it easily and have the chance to bump it up to the next level.
Mental/emotional strength is a whole 'nother game. Many people have lived lives where their emotional strength has been pushed but not truly challenged. Many more of us have been pushed to the brink of total meltdown and annihilation. If you had told me 5 years ago what these past 5 years were going to hold for me, I'm not sure I would have opted for this path in my life. Of course I am aware of the blessings these years have held for me but...wow...I was not prepared for the pending complete overhaul on my psyche. We all have our skeletons, our pasts, our familial secrets, our crosses to bear. We all have made mistakes and lived moments that, given a chance, we would happily eradicate from existence. Chances are, you're reflecting on one right now. The beauty of those moments, those trials and tribulations, those crossroads in life that force us to choose a path to take; is they also force us to grow and strengthen emotionally. Those challenges will bend us and contort us like a Gumby doll and leave us wondering if we will ever be the same again, all the while knowing that we would indeed NOT be the same. Moments like those push us into becoming something new. It's a rebirth, of sorts, for many and can also be a death. For me, it was the death of a person I used to be (one that I thought had served me well) combined with a birth of a new woman who had learned, grown, and was strengthened by life and its challenges.
Marriage, birth, death, loss of a parent, loss of a child, divorce, career changes, illness, disease, terminal illness, loss of home, loss of job, loss of stabilitiy, caring for a parent or grand parent, filing bankruptcy, recovering from bankruptcy, drunk driving citation, court battles, custody battles, teenagers, returning to the dating scene as a mature adult, joining the military, deployment of yourself or loved one, returning to civilian life past military, and so many more life altering situations will force to either wither or grow.
I chose to grow.I still choose to grow.
The fact remains that if you continue to do as you've done you'll likely get what you've gotten. This is a perfect scenario if you're loving your life. Notsomuch if you're not. Change happens--it's how you respond to it that makes it a change you can survive or a change that buries you.
I, like countless others, did not know my own strength. It made me crazy (and still kinda does) to hear people be in awe of my strength because the woman inside of me felt like I was at my limit and, at any moment, would succumb to the weight of my life and the pain and not be okay when it was all over. Strong? I don't know about that. Survivor? Hell yes, I am a survivor.
My point in all of this? Our bodies are miraculous creations that can create life, heal from heart failures, surgeries, and serious illness. Additionally, our minds are limitless--if you can dream it you can do it--and you can likely do more than you give yourself credit for. You can likely withstand much as you are a resilient beautiful creature that has unique skills and talents that make you a wonderful addition to this planet. Through honesty with yourself, love for yourself, patience, tolerance, faith, some great friends and perhaps a good bottle of whiskey you can overcome much.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Love
What's love got to do with it? Well, everything. Love. Is. Everything.
We need it. We crave it. We write sonnets about it. We will seek it out and hunt it down like a lion tracks its prey. When it is new, it's exhilarating. It's a rush like no other. It's the first sunny day after a long cold winter that causes you to inhale deeply, exhale slowly, and savor every moment while hoping there will be more days just like it. When love is familiar, it can be as comfortable as the favorite sweatshirt you pull out on game day while nestling on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. When love is old, it is like an anchor; a weight so heavy that it will drag you to the darkest crevices in your mind and soul. When love is taken away, it can be devastating and leave a person desperately searching for comfort; often in the most inappropriate fashion. When love dies, it is a slow and painful process that leaves scars that will last a lifetime. Often words are exchanged that have much meaning but their only true intent is to inflict damage to the other person's soul. The damage is typically effective as, after all, love used to be a robust feature in the relationship and oftentimes people will lash out while love is dying in a feeble attempt to exert any type of control over anything.
Love is everything.
Love between two people is a high risk gamble. It's putting yourself out there in the hopes that they will in turn love you for who and what you are. It's a dance that resembles a peep show in the way we alluringly show our best traits and keep our worst covered while we work our seductive magic. Love between two people is not a net that is thrown over the other person's head, scooping them up, tossing them over your shoulder, and dragging them into your life. Love is a gift that is offered to another person in hopes that they will accept the gift and continue to view you with love and adoration for all of time. It should be a promise between two people that they choose each other over all others and will do their best to continue to choose each other over time. Love is a willing contract where two people that were formerly on different paths make the choice to walk the same path in life; be it briefly or long-term. The reality is that love should be cherished, nurtured, treasured, and adored for as long as it exists. It should be fought for. Fiercely. It should be protected and valued as it is a precious gift that may not be eternal or even long-term.
Love is everything.
Self-love is vastly different and arguably more important than any other love. Loving oneself is a liberating feeling that can last a lifetime. Self-love is knowing you are not perfect and understanding that no one expects perfection. Self-love is often the love we seek least and/or last. We tend to be wrapped up in how others see us and accept us that we forget to be mindful of how we see and accept ourselves. We discount our own opinions and feelings and surrender them to another person's opinion. If someone speaks unkindly to us we tend to let that one person's lapse in sanity label us and we will give that voice far greater volume that then countless other voices that have complimented us and praised us over the years. If the love we offered or shared with another is denied or no longer present, we will allow ourselves to become shattered shells of the person we once were, sadly forgetting the value that we continue to have.
Finding self-love should be our primary goal--long before our first kiss, first date, or first love. Accepting ourselves as God made us--imperfections, strengths, weaknesses, faults, mistakes, doubts, intelligence, character, physical being, integrity, ethics, values, and more should all be embraced and accepted. Certainly we should feel welcomed to tweak, grow, and alter where we deem appropriate but, overall, finding a love for ourselves "as is" should be a primary focus for each of us from an early age. Even if you're not at that early age, you should still seek out self-love like a fish seeks water or a human seeks air. It is imperative to our survival. If you're unsure how to find value in yourself, embark on the course to learn to find value. Seek professional help, read books, listen to developmental audio, consult your friends that love you as you are and see yourself the way they see you. Take the time and make the effort to create self-love. You are worth it.
Love is everything.
We need it. We crave it. We write sonnets about it. We will seek it out and hunt it down like a lion tracks its prey. When it is new, it's exhilarating. It's a rush like no other. It's the first sunny day after a long cold winter that causes you to inhale deeply, exhale slowly, and savor every moment while hoping there will be more days just like it. When love is familiar, it can be as comfortable as the favorite sweatshirt you pull out on game day while nestling on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate. When love is old, it is like an anchor; a weight so heavy that it will drag you to the darkest crevices in your mind and soul. When love is taken away, it can be devastating and leave a person desperately searching for comfort; often in the most inappropriate fashion. When love dies, it is a slow and painful process that leaves scars that will last a lifetime. Often words are exchanged that have much meaning but their only true intent is to inflict damage to the other person's soul. The damage is typically effective as, after all, love used to be a robust feature in the relationship and oftentimes people will lash out while love is dying in a feeble attempt to exert any type of control over anything.
Love is everything.
Love between two people is a high risk gamble. It's putting yourself out there in the hopes that they will in turn love you for who and what you are. It's a dance that resembles a peep show in the way we alluringly show our best traits and keep our worst covered while we work our seductive magic. Love between two people is not a net that is thrown over the other person's head, scooping them up, tossing them over your shoulder, and dragging them into your life. Love is a gift that is offered to another person in hopes that they will accept the gift and continue to view you with love and adoration for all of time. It should be a promise between two people that they choose each other over all others and will do their best to continue to choose each other over time. Love is a willing contract where two people that were formerly on different paths make the choice to walk the same path in life; be it briefly or long-term. The reality is that love should be cherished, nurtured, treasured, and adored for as long as it exists. It should be fought for. Fiercely. It should be protected and valued as it is a precious gift that may not be eternal or even long-term.
Love is everything.
Self-love is vastly different and arguably more important than any other love. Loving oneself is a liberating feeling that can last a lifetime. Self-love is knowing you are not perfect and understanding that no one expects perfection. Self-love is often the love we seek least and/or last. We tend to be wrapped up in how others see us and accept us that we forget to be mindful of how we see and accept ourselves. We discount our own opinions and feelings and surrender them to another person's opinion. If someone speaks unkindly to us we tend to let that one person's lapse in sanity label us and we will give that voice far greater volume that then countless other voices that have complimented us and praised us over the years. If the love we offered or shared with another is denied or no longer present, we will allow ourselves to become shattered shells of the person we once were, sadly forgetting the value that we continue to have.
Finding self-love should be our primary goal--long before our first kiss, first date, or first love. Accepting ourselves as God made us--imperfections, strengths, weaknesses, faults, mistakes, doubts, intelligence, character, physical being, integrity, ethics, values, and more should all be embraced and accepted. Certainly we should feel welcomed to tweak, grow, and alter where we deem appropriate but, overall, finding a love for ourselves "as is" should be a primary focus for each of us from an early age. Even if you're not at that early age, you should still seek out self-love like a fish seeks water or a human seeks air. It is imperative to our survival. If you're unsure how to find value in yourself, embark on the course to learn to find value. Seek professional help, read books, listen to developmental audio, consult your friends that love you as you are and see yourself the way they see you. Take the time and make the effort to create self-love. You are worth it.
Love is everything.
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